Breathing while riding. Must remember to do that.

Breathing -  that useful thing that I seem to forget to do.

Once we enter the ring I’m concentrating on our canter, remembering to half-halt, keep the rhythm, leg to hand, keeping my outside rein, I’m looking for next jump, balance, turn, keep the canter etc. etc. 

But by the time we’re half way through the course I resemble some sort of bloated purple fruit that’s been left in the sun too long and my poor horse is thinking what the hell is she doing? Yup there’s something I’m forgetting. I’m forgetting to breathe. Basic stuff really. 

The Evil Shoe Throwing Fairy

Is the weather forecast good for the weekend?

Did you pay your entry fees?

Have you the horsebox loaded and everything ready?

Have you cleaned your tack and packed your bag?

Then prepare for a visit from the Shoe Throwing Fairy. This little evil individual will accost your horse in the dark of night and pull, tug, wrench and wrangle his shoe off. You will be met in the morning by a butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth expression from your horse. He will be standing there in all his show-ready glory. But no shoe. NO SHOE! And if you look carefully there will be little fairy dust sprinkled on his fetlock. Commiserations you’ve just been visited by the Evil Shoe Throwing Fairy. 

Don’t try to diffuse a bomb when my dog has a tennis ball!

April Fool came by her name because we picked her out of her many squirming siblings of questionable heritage,  on,  Yes you got it….April Fools Day!

I don’t think we grasped the significance of this at the time.

She has many delightful quirks but some of these extend into the realm of obsession.
One obsession in particular is Tennis Balls! 
Especially fun are tennis balls when you’re trying to do something.

Trying to do the laundry….you’ll get a tennis ball dropped into the basket and a hopeful expression from the Fool

 

Trying to muck out the stables…..you’ll get a tennis ball lodged in the pitchfork prongs and the fool waiting for you to do something fun about it 

 Trying to vacuum…yup….a tennis ball with April hopping around your feet.

Trying to diffuse a bomb…..Tennis BALL! 

Not a good mix

but it's ok, because we still love her :-)

Empty-Headed Dressage

“That lovely feeling of heading down the long-side with absolutely no idea of where to go”

Great comment isn’t it! And so true. Dressage is like that for us, once you enter that arena time moves differently and your brain doesn’t quiet respond in the way it should. Feeling light-headed? Feel like you're having an out-of-body experience....then you're doing a dressage test! Congratulations! That sinking feeling as you pass M wondering if you’re supposed to do something at B! But what was it?? Blue tweetie birds and floating golden stars are really no help at a time like that!

Wibbly Wobbly Spook

Harry has many spooks in his repertoire. One of the silliest is what’s called the Wibbly Wobbly Spook. 

This one only happens in special circumstances. There has to be something spook-worthy on both sides of the trail. So say you’re ambling along and you come across a rubbish bin. Ok yes spook-worthy I’ll give you that. But say mid-spook he also spots something spook-worthy on the other side of the track…say a rabbit. Then you’ll get the Wibbly Wobbly Spook. Also known as Existential-Crisis Spook or the just plain Friggin Hilarious Spook. When a horse can’t decide which item is the scariest they kinda wobbly spook along the track for a few steps. Makes you wonder eh?

Things that Harry eats that he knows he shouldn’t....

How do I know…cos he gets that guilty yet also slightly sniggering look.

Especially when he spots me a certain distance away.

Well Grrrr to you horse with your sense of humour. 

1. Reins

This his possibly his favourite thing to chew, possibly because it is my least favourite. 

Yup this has got to be the most annoying. It means the bridle can only go on at the very last minute or otherwise my lovely reins get chewed. I mean come on horse, it's not like reins grow on trees!!!

2. Brushes

All types and varieties. Nothing in the grooming kit is sacred. 

He especially loves to grab one, shake it up and down and then fling it!

3. Leadropes

Yup, whenever he's tied up and I go to get something I only have to glance over and he's reaching for the rope. 

If I catch him, a good holler will make him drop it with a guilty look.
If I don't catch him in the act I'll return to a sniggering horse happily chewing away. GrrrrrrAhhhhhhh Horse!

 4. Zipper pulls

If you're wearing it and it has a zip on it.....then he want it!

Zipper ties/pulls or those little bits of fabric attached to zips, this is especially delicious. WTF???

5. Wheelbarrows

Not so much eaten or chewed as played with really. 

If Harry's in the vicinity of an upright wheelbarrow and you're not in the vicinity of said wheelbarrow....then its some kind of strange law of the universe that the wheelbarrow will get tipped. The speed that this tipping happens is in direct relation to how full the wheelbarrow is. 

This. Is. Not. Fair!!!!

GrrrrAhhhh bloody horse.